Whack Job "Lord's Resistance Army" Brutally Murders Church Members

Punk rebels claiming to be working for God hacked up the congregation at a Catholic Church in northeastern Democratic Republic of Congo.

These weak men, armed with weapons call themselves pretentiously, "Lord's Resistance Army." Which lord? Apparently one which hates and kills. This would not be the lord in Heaven, of course, who tells his followers to love their enemies.

This is serious stuff. Hopefully, the authorities will catch these chumps and dump them into prison. Toss in a Bible. Maybe this time, they will read it. Look at Matthew 5:44, boneheads.

Whack!

Ugandan army says rebels kill 45 people in Congo church
KAMPALA (AFP) – The Ugandan army on Sunday accused Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) rebels of hacking to death 45 people in a church in northeastern Democratic Republic of Congo.

An aid official speaking to AFP on condition of anonymity confirmed Friday's massacre, saying the killings took place in a Catholic church in the Doruma area, around 40 kilometres (25 miles) from the Sudanese border.

"There are body parts everywhere. Inside the church, the entrance and in the church compound," the aid official said.

"We got information the rebels cut 45 people into pieces," added army spokesman Captain Chris Magezi.

"They were cut with pangas (machetes) and hit with clubs...

Pope Gets Bashed by Religion Phobic Gays

Where does Benedict XVI think he gets the right to pontificate about religion?

Oh, wait. He's the pope.

Meanwhile, you've got gay rights groups intolerant of his religious views.

Whack!

Pope angers campaigners with speech seen as attack on homosexualityguardian.co.uk
Gay rights groups and activists yesterday condemned passages in Pope Benedict XVI's end-of-year address in which the pontiff spoke about gender and the important distinction between men and women.

Pastorbating? Barack Obama Teases America With Religious Controversy

Who will be the most suspicious of this decision?

Will it be Evangelicals and other morally conservative Christians who know Barack Obama is extremely prochoice and generally pro-gay marriage. They know Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church, is not.

Or liberals, Christian and otherwise, who prefer to think of Obama as one of theirs?

Who will cringe at this proverbial reaching over the aisle the most?

No thrills up my leg here. Obama is just politicking.

WHACK!

Obama's next pastor controversy - at inauguration

Salvation Army - Getting It Right

It has come to my attention that there are people who are so afraid of religion that they will not give to the Salvation Army because of its Christian worldview.

What organization so much is the spirit of Christmas as the Salvation Army? Few are as effective. Give today, whatever they believe. Don't let what someone else believes hold you back. Such discrimination isn't cool in 2008.

http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn_2.nsf/vw-local/Ways-to-give

To those intolerant louts who think only atheists are worthy of their money:

Whack!

Politics and Faith?

Peter Roskam Speaks at Wheaton Academy
How to work in the real world without compromising your faith.
by Anthony Trendl
Chicago Tribune

Peter Roskam, a senator in Illinois most noted nationally for taking over Henry Hyde's spot, spoke at a high school today.

...Talking about his Glen Ellyn roots and path into politics, he also candidly described the basis for his prolife views in the context of remaining consistent with his Christian faith. His theme was ethics, and thinking long-term when it comes to career while not separating faith and vocation, that a Christian is a Christian no matter what the job at hand is.
more

I gotta admit, I hardly expected one Christian Republican to survive this election, with so many Democrats seeking the big O. Good for this guy, going against the flow (and we know what's flowing).

WHACK!

Monkey Business Scientists: Science in search of the top banana

Science has always bveen known to follow the money. Religion has never been as profitable, you know.

There's some green to made in the yellow, helping keep agriculture out of the red by avoiding black spots.

WHACK!

Science in search of the top banana
By ARTHUR MAX – 7 hours ago

ROTTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) — It's not easy to keep a banana yellow.

To get it to market ripe but unblemished by brown sugar spots takes careful timing, a slight fiddling with nature's rhythms and a delivery system that is increasingly computer-driven and technical.

The perfect banana used to be a rare and precious find, but technology is changing that. From the tree in the sweltering tropics to the grocery rack in the frigid north, scientists are seeking new ways to strengthen the food chain and extend the shelf life of perishables so they reach distant consumers as if freshly picked.

Commercially, the goal is to satisfy a demand for quality food anywhere, any time, and at maximum profit.

Students Struggle in First-ever State Science Test

Weird. As the nation becomes more secular, science students are getting dumber.

Students Struggle in First-ever State Science Test
September 23, 2008

Whack!

Scores from the first-ever statewide assessment for science show that just one in four Rhode Island students is proficient in the subject.

Students in grades 4, 8 and 11 were tested, with fourth-graders showing the highest proficiency of all three groups.

The state Department of Education said Tuesday that in Rhode Island's urban districts, where test scores were lower overall, only 3 percent of eighth graders tested proficient in science.

Gov. Don Carcieri said now that the state has seen the scores, it can begin to address the problem.

Board of Regents Chairman Robert Flanders, Jr. said officials need to look at whether the state has enough science teachers and appropriate training and materials.

© Copyright 2008 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

A Teacher on the Front Line as Faith and Science Clash

A science teacher, trying to convince students to put their faith in a theory, works hard to refute something they already have faith in.

Is science wrong? Science has proven only that it has a theory lots of atheists believe. Either way, if they are disrespecting a kid's religion, that's pretty low.

No wonder homeschooling is popular and attracting brighter students.

Whack!

A Teacher on the Front Line as Faith and Science Clash

ORANGE PARK, Fla. — David Campbell switched on the overhead projector and wrote “Evolution” in the rectangle of light on the screen.

He scanned the faces of the sophomores in his Biology I class. Many of them, he knew from years of teaching high school in this Jacksonville suburb, had been raised to take the biblical creation story as fact. His gaze rested for a moment on Bryce Haas, a football player who attended the 6 a.m. prayer meetings of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes in the school gymnasium.

When Scientists Go Bad, They Get Whacked by the FBI?

Bruce E. Ivins seems to have been one bad scientist, the kind you do not want to take to a laboratory and leave alone. How bad? Hard to say. They are looking into this. The guy killed himself, making new interviews impossible.

"Since his death, a number of scientists have said that the limited forensic evidence that the F.B.I. made public in linking the attacks to Dr. Ivins is inconclusive."

Whack!

FBI Details Anthrax Case, but Doubts Remain
New York Times
By ERIC LICHTBLAU and NICHOLAS WADE WASHINGTON
WASHINGTON — Federal Bureau of Investigation officials on Monday laid out their most detailed scientific case to date against Bruce E. Ivins, the military scientist accused of being the anthrax killer, but they acknowledged that the many mysteries of the case meant an air of uncertainty would always surround it.

“I don’t think we’re ever going to put the suspicions to bed,” said Vahid Majidi, head of the F.B.I.’s weapons of mass destruction division. “There’s always going to be a spore on a grassy knoll.”

At a two-hour briefing for reporters, Dr. Majidi was joined by seven other leading scientists from inside and outside the bureau. They discussed in intricate detail the halting scientific path that led them from two main samples of anthrax used in the 2001 attacks, to four genetic mutations unique to the samples, to 100 scientists in the United States who had access to that particular strain, and ultimately to Dr. Ivins.

Jury Sides with God? Joel Osteen's Wife Did Not Whack a Breast, They Say

"Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential" by Joel Osteen. Spiritual Narcissism 101: Life About You, Not God.

Jury Sides With God, Pastor's Wife Cleared
TMZ.com
Megachurch preacher's wife Victoria Osteen did not assault a flight attendant over a stain on her first class seat, a civil jury in Texas has ruled.

Whack!

If TMZ says so...? Read their version of this sordid tale.

If you want to buy Osteen's book, you go right on ahead. I'll make a few cents if you, but so will he. If you just want to shop at Amazon, click the book and shop away as usual.

Witch Doctor Hired by Nigerian Official - President Umaru Yar'Adua

Nigerian official accused of hiring witch doctor
This is whacked. True? Who knows. Not me. Could be politics as usual.

read the entire story

LAGOS, Nigeria (AP) -- Police on Friday arrested the head of a federal agency charged with developing Nigeria's impoverished southern oil region after allegations that the man spent millions of dollars on a witch doctor in hopes vanquishing a rival.

President Umaru Yar'Adua announced Friday that the head of the Niger Delta Development Corporation, Sam Edem, had been suspended from his job after local media reports of Edem's large expenditure on black magic. Police later said he had been arrested.

The police said they were investigating the source of the roughly $4 million Edem reportedly spent on hiring a sorcerer to hex and kill another development official.

Whack!

Enjoy the Chipmunks version of the famous David Seville Witch Doctor song (oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang).

Pastor Osteen Accused Whacking Woman in Breast

Victoria Osteen, megarich wife of megastar pastor Joel Osteen, has been accused of assaulting a woman on a plane.

Bigger stars than both Paris Hilton and Barack Obama, the Osteens are facing a strange case involving a breast. Continental Airlines flight attendant Sharon Brown claims in a lawsuit that Victoria Osteen elbowed her in the breast and threw up her agaist a bathroom door. Seems Brown says Osteen was pissy about a a stain on her plane seat (first-class, of course).

Victoria Osteen is the co-pastor of Houston, Texas' Lakewood Church, televised all over. The Osteen's face is seen more often than Kevin Trudeau's.

Whack!

Also in the news is the fashionably famous Paris Hilton lampoon video of Barack Obama's shallowness and John McCain's age.

Mary Baker Eddy is Still Dead (So is Madalyn Murray O'Hair)

LOOK FOR MRS. EDDY TO RISE FROM TOMB; Some Christian Scientists Certain She Will Prove Her Power by Resurrection.
December 29, 1910, Thursday

An old article, to be sure, but she still has her followers.

For the record, Madalyn Murray O'Hair seems dead as well, and the news is still out on Jimmy Hoffa.

On an interesting note, O'Hair, who claimed to be a free-thinker, who had started her atheist club on behalf on son Bill, disowned him after he freely converted to Christianity. She said harshly, "One could call this a postnatal abortion on the part of a mother, I guess; I repudiate him entirely and completely for now and all times...he is beyond human forgiveness."

Her murderer is dead too, apparently a man she hired despite knowing he had urinated on his mother.

Whack!

Enough About Barack "The Whack" Obama

Big Whack of the Week is an easy one. Whiny Obama worshippers in almost a cultish sort of blind embrace (can you say, "David Koresh" or "Jim Jones"?).

No, not every blogger and journalist is asking to be Barack's honey: New Yorker Barack Obama Cover: Satire: To Laugh or Not to Laugh (just be careful if you laugh so hard you pee) but enough are to make me groan at their incestuous glee.

But enough of Obama. I'm getting tired of hearing about him.

Not Everything Is Whacked: The Declaration of Independence: A Transcription

Our early leaders, though war ached their hearts, stood fast against tyranny in favor of freedom. Do our leaders now have the same sober valor?

originally posted here: Let Freedom Ring! The Declaration of Independence: A Transcription

The Declaration of Independence: A Transcription
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 56 signatures on the Declaration appear in the positions indicated:

Column 1
Georgia:
Button Gwinnett
Lyman Hall
George Walton

Column 2
North Carolina:
William Hooper
Joseph Hewes
John Penn
South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge
Thomas Heyward, Jr.
Thomas Lynch, Jr.
Arthur Middleton

Column 3
Massachusetts:
John Hancock
Maryland:
Samuel Chase
William Paca
Thomas Stone
Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia:
George Wythe
Richard Henry Lee
Thomas Jefferson
Benjamin Harrison
Thomas Nelson, Jr.
Francis Lightfoot Lee
Carter Braxton

Column 4
Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris
Benjamin Rush
Benjamin Franklin
John Morton
George Clymer
James Smith
George Taylor
James Wilson
George Ross
Delaware:
Caesar Rodney
George Read
Thomas McKean

Column 5
New York:
William Floyd
Philip Livingston
Francis Lewis
Lewis Morris
New Jersey:
Richard Stockton
John Witherspoon
Francis Hopkinson
John Hart
Abraham Clark

Column 6
New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett
William Whipple
Massachusetts:
Samuel Adams
John Adams
Robert Treat Paine
Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins
William Ellery
Connecticut:
Roger Sherman
Samuel Huntington
William Williams
Oliver Wolcott
New Hampshire:
Matthew Thornton

http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/declaration_transcript.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Declaration_of_Independence
http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/rolling.html

Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan

Roger Miller - Do-Wacka-Do 1966

Whacks are more than those goofballs who think they are the second coming, like Big Whack Richard Dawkins. Roger Miller, with tongue clearly in his cheek, laid down a few licks.

Roger Miller - Do-Wacka-Do 1966
Do-Wacka-Do - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia




I hear tell you’re doin’ well,
Good thing have come to you.
I wish I had your happiness
And you had a do-wacka-do,
Wacka do, wacka-do, wacka-do.

They tell me you’re runnin’ free,
Your days are never blue.
I wish I had your good-luck charm
And you had a do-wacka-do,
Wacka do, wacka-do, wacka-do.

Yeah, I see you’re goin’ down the street in your big Cadillac,
You got girls in the front, you got girls in the back,
Yeah, way in back, you got money in a sack,
Both hands on the wheel and your shoulders rared back
root-doot-doot-doot-doot, do-wah,

I hear tell you’re doin’ well,
Good things have come to you.
I wish I had your happiness
And you had a do-wacka-do,
Wacka do, wacka-do, wacka-do.

(Nonsense syllable interlude)

Yeah, I see you’re goin’ down the street in your big Cadillac,
You got girls in the front, you got girls in the back,
Yeah, way in back, you got money in a sack,
Both hands on the wheel and your shoulders rared back
root-doot-doot-doot-doot, do-wah,

I hear tell you’re doin’ well,
Good things have come to you.
I wish I had your good-luck charm
And you had a do-wacka-do,
Wacka do, wacka-do, wacka-do.

Oprah - Al - Tom: All Whacked

• Oprah Winfrey - believes in candles and vague, but real inner gods
• Al Gore - believes he's a scientist
• Tom Cruise (and John Travolta) - Scientology

Forbidden Apple: Sauced by Joel Osteen

Whacked? Totally.

Joel Osteen. Which part of him seems sincere? Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but it seems like he is living in Eden, feeding the folks there apples that were not meant as snacks.

Smooth as a John Edwards campaign speech, and as slick as George Bush can say, "Didn't know. I thought there were weapons of mass destruction." Only thing slicker was the Slick One himself, Big Billy Clinton.

Joel sort of inherited his daddy's church, and he took a step further. He hooyed it up with some hogwash, the kind of stuff that even makes Barack Obama squirm in the pew (OK, besides his buddies Jeremiah Wright and Michael Pfleger). Be a champion. That's Osteen-code for, "You're God, or, at least you be like God."

Pass the apple sauce, Joel.

You like this guy? Go ahead buy his book.

New Age Self-Determinism in a Christian Wrapper
Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
Trying to mix the positive thinking of Robert Schuller, and the faith movement theology of Paul Yonggi Cho and Kenneth Copeland, Osteen has taken the stadium seminar circuit to a new level. Augmented now by his book, "Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential" he pushes the find the god/champion within yourself.

Here, we see he has a study guide to help point out what is not difficult to understand with his book. To his credit, there are a few more Scriptures laced into this guide. However, the main book is not making any points that a study guide will enhance, and only the lowliest of sheep will need the extra help.

People who are down on their luck, or discouraged with life will find Osteen a good read. It is a feel-good book, reducing the image of Christianity to be about us and not about God. Bigger than life is Osteen's picture on the cover, knowing that if you saw him on TV, you might want his book.

"Getting your mind off of yourself," with the goal of self-fulfillment should appeal also to readers of Wayne W. Dyer and other authors looking to reach those who feel disenfranchised.

Osteen's rambling, choppy speaking style comes through, written like he's campaigning for office. Reading like a seminar set to print, it sums as quickly as reading through its self-determinist table of contents:

1. Enlarge your vision
2. Develop a healthy self-image
3. Discover the power of your thoughts and words
4. Let go of the past
5. Find strength through adversity
6. Live to give
7. Choose to be happy

The steps sound innocuous, and, outside of their religious context, are. Within their religious context, evangelicals and charismatics will likely find offense at Osteen's assertions about controlling your own destiny as opposed to letting God control it.

Aim a little higher, and check out Charles Colson's "The Good Life." The title sounds similar, but Colson defines what makes for a good life far differently than Osteen. Save your money, and if you have Osteen's book, read it without the guide.

Anthony Trendl
editor, HungarianBookstore.com

Wittenburg Door: Bust Out on Busting Religion

Wittenburg Door
Known as "religion's Mad Magazine" (Slick Times) and "the church world's National Lampoon", this "delightfully scathing, gleefully outrageous" magazine (The Washington Post) was recently recognized as one of the world's best spiritual magazines by Utne Reader.

Richard Dawkins, Mystery Writer?

Richard Dawkins, with the fervor of a street corner evangelist, could be said to have penned what might be considered pulp/dimestore mysteries.

As science, they are intellectually stimulating, much like any Sherlock Holmes short story by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. As religion, well, let's just say ol' Dawk has his own religion going, as he makes a fuss being nonreligious. Even Billy Graham doesn't get as bent out of shape at atheists.

Just the same, he is a mystery writer, except he has no idea whodunit. He thinks he knows who didn't do it, so he'd flunk the Columbo Test for New Detectives.

Get a dose of Dawkins.

Whac-a-Mole Played by Venus Williams (video)

As all things whacked are covered here, this must include a Whac-a-Mole video.

Here, Venus Williams, the tennis player, sees a kid playing Whac-a-Mole. She asks for 20 tokens, using her American Express card. She's good, though, whacking the first mole so hard that the other moles are afraid. As a result, the game is over in one whack, and she leaves with a massive quantity of prize tickets.

Big Whack: Ancient impact may explain Mars mystery

That's not just me talking. A big whack. Huge. Whackamundo.

Ancient impact may explain Mars mystery
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Why is Mars two-faced? Scientists say fresh evidence supports the theory that a monster impact punched the red planet, leaving behind perhaps the largest gash on any heavenly body in the solar system.